Post by Luna Ray Zaphyr on Jan 24, 2012 20:57:18 GMT -6
Weed Card - Garfunkel and Oates
Everyone knows marijuana's dangerous, and medical pot is really strong.
That's why it's so hard in California
to get your Weed Card unless something's really wrong.
Gonna pay a visit to my doctor, it's a long shot but I gotta try.
He hands me a list of all the ailments I can have to qualify.
Can't believe what I am reading, this is just what I've been needing.
A government supply to get legally high.
Weed Card, it's what I need.
Hardly, ever, okay. Always.
But it's not an addiction
'Cause my doctor gave me a prescription.
You can get your card for having headaches, bad dreams, or anxiety.
Propensity for drugs, or alcohol, anorexia, or obesity.
Too fat, too thin, either way you win.
Carpal tunnel syndrome, color blindness,
St-st-stuttering, t-t-tooth decay
Fatigue, depression, motion sickness
Impotence, or TMJ.
You can smoke to quit cigarettes,
For asthma, or your motherfucking Tourette's.
It's a dream come true, there's nothing pot can't do
Weed Card, it's what I need.
Hardly, ever, okay. Always.
But it's not an addiction
'Cause my doctor gave me a prescription.
Break it down, now!
Got back pain, need Mary Jane.
Can't handle this, need cannabis.
Got a stomach ache, gotta wake and bake.
Have an injury, need TCH.
Get fucked up for your hyperhydrosis,
Which is sweaty palms in case you need a diagnosis.
It's not a crime, it's 420 time.
Weed Card, it's what I need.
Hardly, ever, okay. Always.
But it's not an addiction
'Cause my doctor gave me a prescription.